A guide to coaching and mentoring your child
Sometimes your role as parent or support person is going to involve coaching and mentoring your child so they can build their resilience and manage the day-to-day challenges they face as a new employee. Here’s 3 ways to take on the role as coach and mentor with your child.
1. Ask questions and let them solve their own challenges
As a parent, often our first inclination when our child is stuck, upset or annoyed is to tell them what to do. While this may make us feel better, it’s not teaching them coping skills or problem solving skills. So what we need to do is coach and mentor them through their challenges by asking questions, so they can solve challenges themselves. We can do this by asking questions like:
- What do you think you should do next?
- How do you think you should approach this?
- Last time you were in this situation what did you do?
- If you were telling me what to do, what advice would you give me?
- Why do you think things have happened this way?
- If you woke up tomorrow and everything was better what would be different?
2. Make time to listen to what they are saying and feeling
Make time to properly listen to what your child is experiencing day-to-day. Too often we hear but we don’t listen. Active listening is when you are fully focused on the other person. When you are using active listening, you are using effort to listen and process what the other person is saying and you can hear what is unsaid as well as what is said. Validate stress, tensions and worries that your child may experience and talk to them about how they can cope with these challenges.
3. Help them understand the different generations at work
The workplace is a very different place to what it was 5 and 10 years earlier. Today what we often see is a generational clash between the baby boomers, generation x and generation y. For example;
- Born between 1982 – 2001
- Perpetually connected, never without phones and heavily engaged in social networks
- Multi-task which includes being online, working and watching TV all at once
- Express individuality but feel its important to be part of a group
- Sense of entitlement, optimistic and outspokenness - they’ve grown up in affluent times
- Inability to take harsh criticism
- Cool = right look
- Born between 1961 -1981
- Admire being individualistic
- Highly feedback driven
- Promotion and money are important to them
- Cool = right attitude
- Born between 1946 -1961
- Rely on friends for information more so than technology
- Less reliant on technology such as phones and computers prefer to speak face to face
- Most don’t use computers
- Social standing is important
- Value loyalty
- Believe their job is for life
Talk to your child about these different generations, while some of these habits might be frustrating, make light of them and make this a topic to learn from not loathe.
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