Christmas Movie Jobs We Wish We Had

Christmas Movie Jobs We Wish We Had
12 December 2019    Donnay Torr    0 comments
How’s this for a Christmas dream job? In November this year, CenturyLinkQuote was looking for “lovers of all things Hallmark and Christmas” to watch 24 different Hallmark movies by December 25 – and they’d pay you to do it. Unfortunately, we were too late to apply, so instead, we’re writing this list of jobs in Christmas movies we wouldn’t mind giving a shot…

(Disclaimer: This isn’t a comment on the actual QUALITY of the movies on the list… Some of them are great, and some of them suck so much that we can’t help loving them.)

Last Christmas

Job: Kate (Emilia Clarke) gets to dress up as an elf and work in a year-round Christmas store. This movie got so much flack for its really obvious “twist”, but hey, we love us some Daenerys in an elf cap!

Pros: Looks very cute in Elf Outfit. Never has to think about what to wear to work. Gets to be jolly every day!

Cons: Christmas tunes on repeat. Gets to deal with customers who visit year-round Christmas stores. Gets to be jolly every day.

Love, Actually

Job: Rufus (played by Mr Bean aka Rowan Atkinson) is the Retail Guru’s Retail Guru. He is so into creating the perfect gift-wrapping experience to properly showcase his jewelry that he nearly causes two-timing Harry (played by Alan Rickman) to have a panic attack. Which he totally deserved. We wish we were as passionate about our jobs as Rufus clearly is, he really goes the extra mile…

Pros: You get to be creative and make things pretty by adding dried lavender flowers and rose petals to gifts. “’Tis but the work of a moment!”

Cons: Somewhere along the line, some impatient customer might very well punch you in the face.

Elf

Job: Buddy The Elf’s (a crazed-on-sugar Will Ferrell) real dad Walter (James Caan) works at a publishing company. He sucks at it at first (which is why he’s on Santa’s Naughty List), but then learns some important life lessons with Buddy’s help, and starts his own publishing company to release best-selling children’s books. We’re into that.

Pros: You get to create something that brings joy to people, in a field that you’re good at.

Cons: Your son is a deranged elf.

Pasta done wrong.

A Christmas Prince

Job: Amber Moore (Rose McIver) is a young magazine journalist who goes off to Aldovia to spy on crown prince Richard. She then stumbles into becoming his little sister Princess Emily’s tutor, learns Richard is actually a good human being, falls in love, and you pretty much know the rest.

Pros: Journalism: it takes you places! Also, being a princess for a while might be fun.

Cons: Curtsying sucks if you have bad knees, and who can be bothered to keep up with all the rules, regulations and protocol stuff? We refuse to wear stockings, Mrs Queen! Also, you might lose your head if some or other revolution happens.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Job: Jack Skellington is Halloween Town’s “Pumpkin King”, which means he basically runs Halloween each year. We’re down with that. Of course, when he gets bored of organising Halloween and tries his hand at Christmas, things get out of hand… (If you haven’t watched this iconic film yet, do yourself a favour and check it out!)

Pros: You get to dress up like weird monsters every day and nobody thinks you’re nuts.

Cons: Halloween comes but once a year. Also, too much candy is not good for your teeth.

I can't believe my eyes!

The Knight Before Christmas

Job: We’re in two minds here: do we want to be a hot science teacher or a chivalrous knight from days gone by? The Knight, probably. He gets to play with swords. The science teacher just gets dissed by climate change deniers.

Pros: You actually know how to use a sword, you always have a dashing hairstyle, your muscles are impressive and you never fall off your horse.

Cons: Showers were few and far between way back in medieval times. We think Mr Knight might be a bit smelly. And chain mail is so last season.

Knight-Before-Christmas-Scene.jpg
My boyfriend brings all the swords to the yard...

Rise of the Guardians

Job: Yeah, Jack Frost is cool and all, but we want to be E. Aster Bunnymund, aka the Easter Bunny. He’s a Pooka (philosophical warrior rabbit), after all. With an Aussie accent. (Thank you, Hugh Grant.) You don’t mess with the Easter Bunny.

Pros: All the chocolate eggs you can eat! Also, he happens to guard hope. We can do with more of that.

Cons: Disgruntled chickens who want their eggs back.

The Polar Express

Job: Smokey and Steamer might not be the main characters, but as the Polar Express’s resident fireman and engineer, they do a pretty good job of clearing caribou off the train tracks! Well, we say good job, but we mean they barely manage to avoid tragedy SO many times…

Pros: You’re working on a really iconic train, doing an important job, and you’re quite the MacGyver with a hair pin.

Cons: Someone is constantly pulling your beard to get you to communicate with caribou.

Not weird at all.

Let It Snow

Job: Doesn’t working at a diner called Waffle Town just sound ideal for a cosy Christmas getaway during a snowstorm? We think so, which is why we wouldn’t mind joining Dorrie and friends to get some hands-on waffle experience.

Pros: Waffle Town is guaranteed to smell delicious, all sugary and warm and happy. Also, the kids who hang out there seem nice. Like, they might be friends with us. *Makes puppy eyes*

Cons: Fitting into your clothes post-Christmas. Never wanting to see a waffle ever again. Having to clean the toilets at the end of each shift.

Waffle-Town-Let-It-Snow.jpg
Hamming it up.

Home Alone

Job: Okay, so technically the only “job” that makes an appearance in this iconic movie is “thief”. And since we would never suggest a criminal career as an actual option, we’re gonna go with “creative and handy entrepreneur” – which is basically what Macauley Culkin’s Kevin has to be to survive the night.

Pros: We can make anything: just give us an earbud and a fork and we’re busting out of this joint, wait and see.

Cons: No cons to see here, move along.
 

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

And finally: if Christmas movies really aren’t your thing, we have the perfect job for you: the actual Grinch! Which means you can go out of your way to be grumpy and complain about all the joy and jazz hands that surround you. Deck the halls with boughs of NOPE.

Why, look, it's 4:30!

Would you rather work in a horror movie? Check out the most dangerous jobs to do if you were a character in a horror movie here!

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