Consider yourself a meme expert? Good at cuddling? There’s (probably) a job for you.
Instagram is sorry, now would you like to work for them?
Heads’ up, memers: Instagram recently announced that they want to hire the unicorn of meme experts! Basically, this means “someone who is fluent in both meme language and the business of digital publishing”. This comes after the platform purged loads of successful meme-based Insta accounts in July, causing the creators of those accounts to cry foul
The official title for this role is “strategic partner manager”, where the “partner” means Instagrammers with successful meme-based accounts, and “strategic” means “let’s make money!”, and “manage” means “no more random purging of Insta meme accounts, we promise!” (That’s our definition, anyway.)
According to Lila King, Instagram’s head of news and publishing partnerships, the person in this new role will have to “connect more deeply with the teen accounts and other accounts we’re not aware of”.
The best candidate for this role would need to be a bona fide Meme Master, able to communicate in fluent meme and rally the IG memers to a common cause. Biggest challenge? To translate their language so that the corporate bigwigs who can haz no clue gets it.
If “meme expert” at Instagram doesn’t sound like your ideal job, there are other odd jobs you could try out. We’ve rounded up six weird jobs that actually exist to get you started.
Pet food taster
Our pets have tastebuds too, but they have no real way of telling us whether their schmackos taste like sawdust or prime steak. (And no, your cat vomiting on the carpet doesn’t mean she hated the food – she’s probably just annoyed at you.) Enter Pet Food Tasters: the courageous people who get to nibble on kibble to check for balance, flavour and texture. They also evaluate the nutritional value of the food, and sometimes come up with new flavours and ideas. Most of the premium pet food companies hire tasters to help them develop their products. If you have a strong stomach, a good nose and hardy tastebuds, give it a try. Bonus: much like wine tasters, pet food tasters get to spit out the food after tasting it.
Om nom nom.
Giving your hugs away for free? That’s just bad business practice! Seriously, though: there are plenty of people who will pay for a good platonic cuddle – and by cuddle, we mean a warm, friendly, supportive hug, all aboveboard and decent, like. Clients usually have to sign a contract and adhere to the rules while getting their cuddle. Australia doesn’t have any professional cuddlers yet, but there are plenty of professional cuddle agencies in the US. If you’re a caring, empathetic person who feels the world needs more love, professional cuddling might be the way to go.
Cuddling: good for you.
Dog Surf Instructor
Wanted: people with patience, good surfing skills and the ability to speak dog. Your mission, should you choose to accept it: teach dogs how to surf. Bonus: dogs! On surfboards! And lots of outdoor fun in the ocean! Crucial: must love dogs. Dog surfing instructor could take you from Byron Bay to a beautiful beach in California. The trick is to find the right clients: people who really want their dogs to learn to surf…
These dogs are cooler than you.
“Ethical hacker” is just another term for cyber security analysts, the guys who are employed by banks, security firms and other companies to monitor computer systems and fix problems caused by hacking. Becoming an ethical hacker might be a very good career decision: there’s an increasing focus on protecting people’s privacy and information against cyber-attacks, and ethical hackers are an important line of defense when it comes to protecting human rights. At the recent Black Hat USA 2019 conference, Bruce Schneier, a fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School, made the following point during a “Hacking for the Greater Good: Empowering Technologists to Strengthen Digital Society” panel discussion: “We need to help defend organizations that are doing public good – we don’t do enough praising those in IT… working for those around the world being attacked by governments”
If you get this, you might be too old for this blog.
Fortune cookie writer
Well, someone has to do it! And it might as well be a good writer with a witty sense of humour and the ability to pack a big punch of meaning into one short sentence. The job market for fortune cookie writers is pretty small, though: Donald Lau, chief fortune writer at Wonton Foods, kept his job for 30 years and only resigned in February 2017
! If you don’t want to wait around, consider a career in writing greeting cards for greeting card companies such as Hallmark. (That’s a legit career, too!)
I see what you did there.
Scuba diving pizza delivery guy
Yeah, no, we don’t know about this one… At Jules’ Undersea Lounge in Key Largo, Florida, visitors can get pizza delivered to their underwater rooms. We have questions. Most importantly: could this service be adapted to getting the delivery guy to simply wade out to us (keeping the pizza hot and dry, please) while we’re floating on our blow-up flamingo at Shelly Beach?
Asking yourself “what are my skills, anyway?” It might be time to try out the Skillsroad Career Quiz - a free job test that will help you discover your future career. Try it now, it’s free
Main image: Alexas_Fotos
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