How To Recognise A Toxic 'Friend'

How To Recognise A Toxic 'Friend'
6 April 2018    Lisa Clark    0 comments
Building relationships with people is a part of life but sometimes these relationships can do us more harm than good. It’s an unfortunate part of life that you don’t always get back what you give in friendships and relationships but the important part is ensuring you cut these ties before they damage you or make you unhappy.

frenemy
'frɛnəmi'
noun
informal
a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.
Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the difference between a friendship or relationship going through a rough patch or if the friendship is actually turning toxic and therefore at the point of no return so here are some hard-hitting questions you need to ask yourself so you can decide if you need to kick this relationship to the curb.

Are they quick to point out your flaws?

Sure, none of us are perfect and honesty in friendships is super important but if there “honest feedback” is actually a criticism of everything you do, where is the fun of that? You want to feel in a safe enough space to discuss things with your friends and if they are constantly pointing out everything you did wrong instead of offering advice and support it might just be time to kick that friendship to the curb.

Are they constantly a negative force in your life?

Negativity is a buzz kill in any form let alone if it is a friend who is constantly bringing you down with their negative attitude and outlook on life. It is important you surround yourself with people who lift you higher, who motivate you to be the best version of yourself and who are positive players in your life. Friends who are toxic will focus only on the negatives which in time will begin to affect your moods and motivation so kick that friendship to the curb before their negative vibes begin to brush off on you.

Do they talk behind your back?

No, no no, no, no! This is a deal breaker for me, I want my friends to have my back not talk behind it. If you hear on the grapevine that your “friend” has been talking about you behind your back, then confront that issue right there and then. Trust me when I tell you, friends don’t talk behind your back, they defend you when someone is trying to do so, or let you know that someone has been unkind to you. The flip side of this is I have learned that if friends are constantly talking negatively about other friends to you then they are probably doing the same to you behind your back, so kick that relationship to the curb.

Do they never celebrate your successes?

It’s important you fill your friendship circle with a cheer squad that is happy to see you happy and will share in celebrating your successes in life. If you have a friend that isn’t happy when you are doing well then it might be time to kick that relationship to the curb. Friends should be right alongside you cheers-ing and cheering your wins, people that love to see you happy are the people you should have in your inner circle.

Do you secretly not trust them?

If that is with money, your boyfriend or even just trusting they will do what they say they will do then kick that relationship to the curb. Trust is such an inaugural part of friendships and having good relationships that if you are constantly doubting it then it’s not a healthy place to be in. If you can’t trust your inner circle, then who can you trust?

Let me tell you what I have learned in my 32 years on this earth when it comes to friendships…

Not everyone is going to like you, sometimes you are just so fabulous that the green-eyed monster comes out and people want to take you down. In any of these times of despair remember that that is a reflection of their insecurities and no reflection of who you are as a person.

Sometimes people want what you have and will go to some pretty messed up lengths to try and get it which might mean sh*tting on you in the process, just remember to always hold your head high and know that the only reason they dislike you so much is because of how truly awesome you are. And finally, spend your time with the people that make you feel loved, supported and a better version of yourself. They say you are the 5 people you hang out with the most, so make sure these people are the 5 best people you can have around.

Image credit: Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash
 
Lisa.jpg Bondi-based freelance journalist, blogger & #girlboss, Lisa Clark, has an acute appreciation for travel, fashion and photography. Through this lifestyle, Lisa creates beautiful and inspiring content across her Instagram @iamlisaclark and her blog www.lisaclark.com.
When she isn't writing for Skillsroad you can find her at the beach with her dog Levi or working on her Social Media Company We Are The Hunted, shooting (and eating) food for her hospitality clients.

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